


The Meaning Of The Flowers

by BddXsfsi



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Growing Up Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Relationship(s), True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:28:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23494582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BddXsfsi/pseuds/BddXsfsi
Summary: This is a story of a deep and true love, but also of friendship and kindness . Is the eight year for Harry, Ron and Hermione, but who else is back in Hogwarts? Between the others student there is the only and unmistakable Draco Malfoy. What will Harry do when he will have to share the dorm and the room with him?Let the chaos begin.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hannah Abbott/Neville Longbottom, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Luna Lovegood/Rolf Scamander, Morag MacDougal/Blaise Zabini, Seamus Finnigan/Dean Thomas, Theodore Nott/Pansy Parkinson
Kudos: 22





	The Meaning Of The Flowers

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I want to warn you about two things: first, I'm Italian and I wrote this fic in English, so you might find some error, sorry; Second, this isn't a fic only about Draco and Harry. They are the protagonists, but there are others characters.

_Wounds_

Dark, panic. That's how it starts. It's hot, an overwhelming heat... His bones are breaking... Then appears him. His pale face and those fiery red eyes that for years has been the object of his worst nightmares. He's coming, closer and closer...

Harry woke up. 

Ron and Hermione were still asleep, hugged, Harry saw. It had been months since he had seen Voldemort’s body lying dead on the ground, as that of Lupin and Tonks and Fred. Mrs Weasley was still having nightmares, especially since the time she found the boggart in Ginny’s closet. However, they were all confident that they could heal those wounds, that they could return to normal life, maybe. Anyway, the ones that were worse were the three of them. They had wounds that couldn't be healed: an abduction, a torture and, well... Harry was just Harry. Ron, every night, woke up to look for his girlfriend next to him, Hermione often had panic attacks and Harry had always this orrible nightmare. He woke up scared, hurted by his own past memories. When he closed his eyes they were there, the bodies of his loved ones, dead. He lost so much in his life, he often wondered how he could wake up every morning. He kept telling himself that he had to be strong, because Ron had Hermione, but he had no one, or at least, no one like that. He and Ginny had broken up at the end of June, agreeing that there was only friendship between them, in fact they were like brother and sister. 

"Again those nightmares?" Hermione asked him sleepy. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you" answered Harry, avoiding her question. Hermione always worried about him, this made him feel 'loved', but sometimes he preferred to take care of himself. 

"Relax, Ron had already wake me. Sometimes he snor so much..." said Hermione, almost in a wishper 

"Thank goodness you noticed it too, he didn't want to believe me". Now they were laughing together. It was nice to laugh, it made Harry feel free. 

They laughed too much, because Ron heard them and asked "why are we laughing?" 

"Nothing" they said together, barely holding back their smiles. 

He realized about what they were talking about and protested "I don't snor! Do I, 'Mione?" (looking at her with an accomplice face) "even you now! Okay maybe I snore a little" 

"A little? Mate, sometimes you scare me". They continued to talking (not about Ron, fortunately for him) until Molly called them for breakfast. 

They went in the kitchen and saw that it was set for nine people, one more than those present. With a smile, disfigured by the melancholy, thay looked at the plate and the field flowers next to him, probably Ginny's work. They sat and, as always, were filled by Mrs Weasley's food 

"Molly, if you continued like this, they won't enter in their uniform" Arthur reproached her. 

"Come on, Arthur, they must stay strong. Harry, do you want something else? No? Hermione?". Reluctantly she turned to Ron, who never refused food. 

"Did you pack your bags?" Arthur asked them. They all nodded, so he, looking at the clock, sent them to dress up, because on September 1 there was always a big fuss at the Burrow.

They arrived at King's Cross just in time for the Hogwarts Express, saing goodbye to Mr and Mrs Weasley, they got on the train, where they found someone familiar. 

"Neville, look, it's Harry. Hello, Harry!" It was Luna's dreamy voice, who, with Neville and his and his extravagant plant, was looking for a free cabin. "There are Ron and Hermione, too" 

"Guys! Want to sit with us?" proposed Neville. 

They made a rather peaceful journey, talking about Quidditch, Erbology and Nargles. 

"There are so many Nargles in this train" said Luna, worried "I go to clean this coach, we will see at Hogwarts" and she disappeared. 

"Who do you think might be back this year?" Ron asked to Neville, the only one there that was returned the previous year.

"There were a lot of Slytherins, some Ravenclaw and one or two Hufflepuff. I heard that many of them went to Beauxbatons and someone to Durmstrang... So I don't know for sure" he conclused.

"Do you think that the ferret will come?"

"Well, of course." debuted Hermione, raising his head from the book "Don't you read the Prophet? His father went to Azkaban, then they fell into disgrace. He can only study and get a proper job. This year he will be there." 

The rest of the journey passed quickly, and then they were again in the familiar, cozy, beautiful Great Hall. The last time Harry saw it was during the battle, but there was a lot of dead bodies on the ground. Now the tables stood out and from the transparent ceiling hung the banners of the four houses. After the Sorting Ceremony, McGonagall made the usual speech of the principal

"Walcome back, to those already familiar to Hogwarts, welcome to the others. As you all know well, this has been a place of great suffering, so I ask you to be respectful, but nevertheless I hope it will be for you a place of great goy and redemption. A lot of people fought for Hogwarts, so I expect wizards with potentialities to make them proud. That said, I warn the eighth year students that I want to spend with you two words, after the banquet."

The food appeared, one course after another. when even the last slice of gelatine disappeared, dismissed the students, they went to the teachers' table (Hagrid greeted Harry with a big smile). Harry had the chance to see who had returned: many Slytherins, one Hufflepuff, Hannah Abbot, Luna, Neville, Dean, Seamus and the three of them. In a corner, darkened by the shadow of a statue, hid the unique and unmistakable Draco Malfoy. He seemed different... More mature, maybe? Grown-up? However, it was the same guy two inches taller than Harry (or rather, the same ferret). 

"This year you won't stay in your dorm. You will share a new dormitory with double rooms. Also, you will stay in the room with members of other houses." announced McGonagall, overwhelmed by the buzzes of outraged students. 

"What if the dorm suddenly burst?" tried Seamus. 

"Finnigan, I'm still your principal" McGonagall responded him, ignoring his disappointment. "You will be the students who will most be looked at and followed as an example, so you will understand well that -" 

"we have to represent the union of the houses." finished Hermione, who, as always, had already understand. 

"Exactly, Miss Granger. The couples are Granger-Parkinson, Abbot-Lovegood, Weasley-Zabini, Finnigan-Nott, Thomas-McDougal, Longbottom-Finch-Fletchley and-" 

"Let me guess, Potter-Malfoy, right?" Grounded out Draco. Mumbled something like "perfect!", took his bag and left almost running.

"You get Malfoy this year" 

"I'm sorry. Harry" commented his friends. 

"Great, I can’t wait to share a room with a ferret". They all burst out laughing. 

Let the chaos begin.

_Blaise and Ron_ : 

"So, Weasley, I take the bed on the left" said Zabini, without even look at him. 

"Okay" mumbled Ron, more to himself. He didn't know how he possibly could handle it. Anyway, he laid his trunk and Leo’s cage on his side of the room. 

"Shut that thing up, please". Leo started howling for happiness. 

"Do not insult my owl!". Ron was angry, but, frankly, he just didn’t know how to shut Leo up.

"Why, do you call that thing 'owl'?" Zabini asked him, laughing 

"Fuck off" Ron simply answered. 

"The first night is going well" pointed out the Slytherin boy. 

Ron couldn't hid a smile and shook his head "Slytherin". At that point, with the grace equal to his emotional sphere, Ron dropped the trunk and overturned all of Fred and George's Ton-Tongue Toffee ('just George's', he thought). "Bloody hell!" 

"Wait, I'll help you" he offered. 

Ron looked at him as if he just declared to love him. 

"Okay, do what do you want. Always the same stubborn Weasel" 

"What did you just say?" Ron growled, furious. 

"You know what? Fuck you off, Weasel" concluded dryly Zabini. 

They didn't talk to each other for the rest of the evening.

_Hermione and Pansy_ :

Hermione, who had stopped to talk to Harry before going up to the room, arrived at the door and frozed. There were bottles of Fire Whisky all around Pansy's bed and such a mess that gave her shivers.

"Are you going to come in or not?" she asked to a shocked Hermione. She was going to move when Crookshanks preceded her and jumped on Pansy's bed. She was about to call him back when he started purring, 'great, he prefers her to me' Hermione thought.

"What is it?" Pansy was looking horrified at the cat. 

"He's Crookshanks, my cat" she explained reluctantly (she was overprotective about her cat). 

"The name is even orrible than the animal, incredible, isn't it?" Snapped out Pansy. 

Hermione ignored her, even though she was outraged, and started unpacking her books (that were, actually, a lot).

"So it's true that you read"

"I guess so"

"What do you do on you free time? I mean, when you don't read?" Pansy domanded, pretending to be interested.

"It's none of your business" She was tired of being derided.

"Oh, right, you're sleeping with Weasley" She sneered. 

"Oh, right, and you? Who you don’t mess with?" Hermione shot challengingly.

Pansy, offended, decided to give up, but she knew exactly how to make her pay.

_Draco and Harry_ :

Draco was already in the room when Harry arrived. He saw that he was expecting him.

He looked up and asked "What do you want?"

"Rules, Potter, we need rules." He said. "First, no Gryffondor hangout here. Second, do not touch anything."

"As if I go through your trank usually" Harry huffed annoyed. He didn't think he could do it a complete year. 

Ignoring him, Draco continued "Third, no communication not necessary. Fourth, no personal question or thing like that. If you want some detaile of my life, you just have to read the Prophet, all Rita Skeeter does is write about the 'misfortune of the Malfoys'." Angrily he went on "Fifth, no girl here."

Harry asked himself 'why would I do that?'. This made him think.

"And sixth, stay away from me, get it?"

"Yes 'sir' " Said sarcastically Harry, but he immediately regretted it, because Draco gave him a dirty look.

Decised to avoiding from him for the rest of the night, Harry remained in his room, thinking about what Malfoy said btw girls. He felt nothing but a certain... repulsion? This couldn't be true. He left Ginny just two months ago... The only girl he’s ever had a serious relationship with. It's true that something in his relationship felt wrong... Could this possibly have something to do with Malfoy? Harry was even more mystified. Maybe-

"Potter?" It was Draco's voice. He noticed that he was staring at his bed. Shame flicked over him and he blushed violently. After this, he decided to go to bed. 

It didn’t work out so much better for the others either, judging by the fact that was heard an explosion from the chamber of Seamus and Theodore, the crack of a broken vase (followed by the scream of Neville, of course) and Luna, who was yelling at Hannah because she didn't believe that Nargles were real. 

The next morning, they all went to the Great Hall for breakfast angry, for one reason or another. Walking through the halls the students splitted to let them pass, as if they were a bunch of superheroes, driven by a particularly angry Neville.

"How did it go for you?" Asked Harry, looking around.

"Let's forget it, we insulted each other all the time" Ron responded, bothered.

"What a naughty girl" Huffed Hermione.

Harry saw Nott and Finnigan discussing "It isn't my fault!" Shot Seamus. 

"So my inkwell decided to kill itself, right?" Nott still had some ink stains here and there, but Seamus didn’t think it necessary to warn him. Harry would pay to see his reaction. 

By the time, he saw Hannah and Luna: the Ravenclaw girl was about to say something when Hannah preceded her "Let me, Narvles?" 

"It's Nargles!" Harry had never seen her so angry. 

Last ones, he saw Dean and Morag arguing about the existence of the football. 

"Well, I would say" commented Harry. 

"And you with the ferret?" ask Ron asked him, with the expectation of a great story. 

"Fine" It wasn’t exactly "fine," but Harry preferred not to linger. It was an error, because they two both stopped to look at him. "We set up rules, that’s all." Harry didn't want to talk about them, because he should have told them everything, and he didn't know how to. 

"He's sick" Said Ron, still not believing him. 

"He’s just acting mature, unlike Parkinson" Hermione had convinced Ron, enough to makw him change the subject "If you say so".

Yes, it was true, they had behaved civilly, but after just a week already he could not stand it anymore. He couldn’t stay in his room with his friends: the last time they tried, Draco had made such chaos that they were forced to leave the chamber ("rules, Potter"). 

Several times Draco woke up in panic, Harry always tried to help him, but every time he did not allow him. 

"Are you okay?" Wishpered Harry. 

"Ain't your business" He hissed dryly. 

"I’m not trying to mind your business, I can help you" He patiently explained, and it was true. He couldn’t watch him suffer every night more and do nothing. 

"What do you know?" Draco snapped out.

"I have nightmares every night" He was the first with whom he talked to about it in months, sure that he would regret this. 

"No, I mean, what do you know about my necessities? Go back to sleep" Harry felt a tone of remorse in his voice... Anyway, he returned to sleep and with him returned the night demons, too. 

Harry really don't understand. He tried to help him anyway: he had even offered him help with the DADA's tasks, with which Draco was in clear difficulty, but there was nothing to do. 

"I don't need your pity, Potter" 

From his voice Harry understood that he couldn’t take it anymore, he was tired, so he tried patiently "It’s not pity, it’s kindness." He was sick of being painted as the "Savior" (which he actually was). "But, do what do you want, take a low grade". Even that didn’t work, so he decided to go to sleep and let it go. 

After about two hours (Draco was still awake, still working on his tasks), Harry had the same nightmare as always, but that time it seemed more...real. He couldn't move or breathe, Voldemort would have take him... 

"Potter! Open your eyes! I'm here, I'm Draco. Please, Potter, breathe with me, it was just a dream!" Harry woke up, but he still was in his nightmare... He still couldn't breathe...

"Breathe... Please _Harry_..." It was Draco's voice, he recognized him. Then he saw his trunk, his Firebolt and his roommate, as scared as him. 

"What happened?" Harry asked weakly

"You were soffocating... Don't you dare do this again, don't die, please" He whispered to him, lying his hand on his cheek, to assure him that he wasn't alone? To make him feel safe? Harry didn't know, but it was working, like he was with Ron or Hermione. 

"I'll try" Seeing him still upset, he tried to reassure him "Calm down, I'm alive" He said, though he liked that version of Malfoy. 

"Moron" He admonished him and he went to his homework. However, before he sat down, he turned to him "It's too late for that help?" 

"No, of course not" Harry was definitely confused.

The next afternoon, trying to predict his death for Trelawney, Harry told his friends about the previous night. They look at him, almost in shock. 

"He what?" Said Ron, mystified. 

"Well, it's obvious, isn't it?" Answered Hermione, looking at them "it's a matter of Debt". They still didn't understand. "The two of you have saved each other like several times, it's Life Debt" She explained. 

Harry pretended to know nothing about it... the thought that Malfoy did it for this made him feel deluded. He hoped, only for a fleeting moment, that he had cared for him because he wanted to and not because he had to for a stupid Life Debt. There was something, deep inside him, that he only had to admit to himself... Maybe he just need to be loved. Like Hermione and Ron... But not like Ginny. A different tipe of love. Harry only had to figure it out...

Anyway at five o'clock they said goodbye to Hermione and, with their broom, they went to the field for the first training of the year. God, Harry missed it so much: the grass under his feet, the fresh hair that pervaded him like an electric shock. He feel completely at home now.

"Before the selection, I want to warn you about a few things" He started "Quidditch is not an easy game, is a game of strategy, but also dangerous. Above it all is a teamwork. So if you're not interested in any of this, please leave now"

Nobody moved. 

"Great. Now the 'captain' thing. This is my last training as yours. After today, team will be led by Ron. Any questions?" Ron froze. He didn't expect it... He joined Harry and hugged him "Thank you"

"You deserve it" He simply answered. In fact, Ron had always been better at making strategies and choosing players than he did.

After an hour, since the camp had been booked by the Slytherins, they went to change and went upstairs to celebrate the new team. Halfway, he realized he had forgotten his bag in the locker room and, with a bored puff, went back. Convinced that he was alone, he entered, but then Draco came out of the bathroom.

_Shirtless._

Harry panicked. He saw all his scars, that Harry made on their sixth year. He gets sick, his head was spinning, he was sweating cold. He swallowed hardly, put a hand on the wall and ran out of that room, which seemed to be tightening around him. Draco followed him, worried.

"Potter!"

"These are.. Are... I-I made them..." Harry lost the words.

"Yes, but I don't care anymore, get it? It doesn't matter" He assured him, holding him by the wrist.

Harry closed his eyes and sighed "Yes, it does. Sorry, I have to go" He freed himself from Draco's grip and ran away.

He returned to the Common Room, announced he didn't feel very well, apologized to Ron and went to his room. After a few minutes, Malfoy reached him. He put his bag on the floor and sat next to him, on the bad.

"Potter" He called.

"I am so sorry, really. I didn't mean to hurt you in that way. I didn't know the spell, it said 'against the enemies' and so I thought that maybe... But you weren't a true enemy and I knew it... And I am very sorry" Harry didn't know what else to say... He had a lot of questions...

"It doesn't matter anymore. Probably I would have done the same. You acted instinctively. I have to apoligize to you for what I did all that year... For how I treated you... you know what? The most of the time I was gelous of you. I'm not trying to justify myself, there is no forgiveness for everything I said... To you and your friends... I just want to say, you don't have to apologize for anything" His cheeks turned pink, a pale and graceful pink, barely visible in the soft sunset light. Harry's face brightened, only now he realize that he was still bare-chested. He must have followed him soon after... This made him feel kind of 'loved'. But first he had to make things clear.

"I forgave you. You said a lot of horrible things, it's true, but we were young... I said terrible things, too. Anyway, I'm not the person you should apologize for that. Otherwise I forgave you. I saw you, on the Astronomy Tower, lower you wand... I heard you and I understood. You were scared. As we all were. You were ready to spare Dumbledore's life. You saved me, at your house and your mum... Without her I probably would not be here. I understood how fool I was. You have never been an enemy, you were just terrified. I think" He admitted, leaving Draco speechless. 

"Thank you" He answered, really grateful. 

"Truce?" 

"Yes" Something changed in Draco's eyes. He no longer had that unsettling, cold look. Now he seems more relaxed, as if he had lifted a burden. They stood looking at each other for a while when-

Knock Knock

It was Ron.

Since that week something seemed to lighten in Harry. The nightmares didn’t disappear, but they seemed more bearable. Harry understood that the burden that shattered his bones every night was his remorse, what he did not admit to himself. He kept reliving the moment he saw Draco shirtless... something reassured him. He didn't know what it was, but it was there. Maybe all he had to do was say what he knew.

Hermione had been telling him for weeks that he was absent, distracted, different. She had been scolding herself for weeks (she thought it was because she and Ron spent too much time together). Harry had to tell them. 

"Can we talk?" He asked them one night. "In private?" 

"Of course, my room is free" Offered Hermione. 

"We would Pansy with another boy" Ron pointed out.

"For one thing that I said the first night... She bring every night a different guy" Hermione was near hysteria. She couldn't read in peace... Because of the noise. She couldn't bring Ron, she couldn't stay alone in her room because of the the mess that Pansy made. "Such a messy girl" she hissed. 

"Draco is at the workouts, come in" Harry was so agitated, the only thing he heard was his heartbeat.

"Guess what? Looks like Draco missed his first practice, but he still joined the team. Who knows how much he paid." Ron huffed. He felt guilty, it was him who spoke at Nott, the captain of the team. He had to tell them that too. Harry didn’t want to make Draco look like he was taking advantage of it again. Did he want to protect him? Once in the room, Harry told them before about the tryouts.

"Oh, Harry. I am so sorry. If you want to talk, we are here for you, aren't we, Ron?" Hermione immediately reassured him. He had always adored thi affectionate side of her. 

"Sure, mate." Said Ron. 

Now it came the hard part. 

"There's another thing." He really didn't know how to do this... "I think I figure out why me and Ginny didn't work. I think... No, I know, that maybe I don't work with girls" 

Oh God... He did it, no second thought... He did it. 

Hermione look at him and then at Ron. Harry wondered if she already knew something about this. "Harry, I knew it. I mean, not for sure, but I had my suspicions. Anyway, I love you and I'll forever." 

"Thanks. You can't understand how I appreciate this." Harry was grateful, but... Ron? What would What would Ron have thought? 

"So... You're gay" He said after a few moment. 

"Yes, but I want you to know that I am the same messy Harry. I am the same person." 

"I know, mate. Don't warry, I was just thought about when Ginny will found out" He smiled at him. A smile that said 'okay', a smile that allowed Harry to breathe again. 

After a few moment they burst out laughing. It was the best time he had shared with his friends, finally free.

The following morning they have Potions with Slytherins. 

They have to works in pairs. 

'Great' Harry thought. 

After he proposed to Hermione and tried to convince her to leave Ron for him, he looked around and saw a person alone, like him. How Harry still doesn’t know, but he went to that table and sat next to Draco Malfoy.

He seemed terrified.

"Do you mind if I brake your rules?" Harry asked ironically.

"N-No.." He was confused by what was happening.

Anyway, Ron was the most shocked, even more than Blaise. Slughorn entered in the class and consigned the ingredients' list. Arrived at Hermione and Ron's table asked "Where's Harry?" Ron pointed, still puzzled, the table where Harry and Draco sat. "Oh" To Harry’s astonishment, the professor was even more surprised than the others.

They started working and after a few seconds Malfoy shot "Don't! Sorry, the potion doesn’t need a broken dragon claw, I thought that at your old age you knew how to read. Give me this knife."

Harry laughed and, pretended to be outraged, protested "I was filing it down"

"You were torturating it" He pointed out, laughing.

"You dare say I’m no good?"

"Yes, very good at spoiling potions. On the other hand, 'you have come to Howgarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel confident enough to not pay attention'." Draco made such a perfect imitation of Snape that Harry relived that moment. If he thought about it now it was nothing, but he had felt so embarrassed that day. he just wanted to disappear under his invisibility cloack.

"How dare you? I'm one of the 'select few who possess the predisposition' "

They laughed even more, attracting the looks of their companions and Ron, who mouthed _'_ _what are you doing?'_

During the lesson, the two ex-enemies really enjoyed themselves, so much that they decided to do it again. In the hours they shared, they sat together, mostly making fun of each other (which made McGonagall proud, seeing them together at Transfiguration's Class). 

One night, before go to bed, Harry said "But, Malfoy, we can't be friends" 

Draco looked at him for a few alarming moments "Why?" He finally asked.

"Rules" 

"What an idiot. I wonder how I ended up being your friend" 

"Ferret" 

They laughed and then they went to sleep. 'Yeah', thought Harry, 'How we ended up being friend just now?'.

A scream. Someone was screaming. Pansy opened her eyes, terrified.

"Granger!" It was Hermione. She was a having another of her panic attack.

"Granger... Look at me! It was a dream, the war is ended! _HERMIONE_! Please... Look at me" She was still panicking "Weasley! Potter! Someone help me!" She didn't know what to do...

Harry woke up, hearing his name, as Ron.

"It was Pansy" Said Draco "Granger, it's her! Run!" They ran out of the chamber and went to the girls' room. They entered and saw Hermione, shaken by constant chills, in Pansy’s arms. Slowly all the others came. This scene That scene reminded them of memories they hoped they’d buried. Agreeing that they wouldn't have sleep no more that night, they all went to common room, looking at the flame and thinking at their past. How many wounds, how much pain. In the air their suffering was palpable. That pain would have devoured them, if they had let their guard down for even a second... 

After some minutes Pansy whispered "How can we survive this if we can’t even look each other in the eye? How can we do this alone? Look at us, what’s this damn war done to us? We’re not the same people who eight years ago were waiting to know what house they were gonna be in. Some people have nightmares (Draco and Harry’s eyes met), some panic attacks... some depression. What matters is that we’re here, grown up, alive. I mean, look at Potter and Malfoy. Who remembers them? They couldn’t be in the same room and now they’re... friends? They stay together even at lunch. I’d say it’s time to do what they did, move on."

Evryone now was looking at her. She did what everyone didn't have enough courage to do. She revealed the truth.

"I think that Pansy is right." Hermione agreed weakly.

Now they were again in silence. They all know that Pansy was right. They just had to admit to themselves.

"Sorry." Draco began. "I want to apoligize to you all. It doesn’t matter if I did anything to you directly or not. The girls said it tonight. We have to move on and I can't before doing this. I want to apoligize for hadn't been there, or for had been there and had done anything. I hurtled so much people... I hate myself sometimes. I am not asking your forgiveness or your pity. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry."

Pansy simply hugged him" I missed my Draco"

"I missed you too, Pansy. I really missed you"

When they returned to their rooms, Harry sat on his bed and Draco, seeing him, decided to go to speak to him.

"How are you?" Actually, he already knew the answer.

"I can't say anymore what's happening to us. I thought we could move on, but we’re always stuck in the past" Draco could understand him. Who couldn't?

"Every day I wake up with a scar that I didn't know I had. I carry them around, or rather, they carry me around ... I live with them. Every time I close my eyes they are here, next to me. They laugh and I hear them... I hear him. But, as I keep falling and rising, I hope that one day I'll make such a spark that they catch fire." 

Harry admired his hope, it was something he didn't have... Still. He put his head on his shoulder and left a tear.

"Are you...?" Draco murmured, gently. 

"Shut up" Harry ordered. 

"I'm here, I don't go anywhere." 

"Me too" 

They assured them.

Since that night everything changed. Hermione found in Pansy the sister she never had (and came to the conclusion that she liked Crookshanks). Hannah, before go to sleep, always said goodnight to Luna and her Nargles. Justin bought a new plant for Neville and Seamus a new inkwell for Theodore. They formed a large group and spent their evenings together. Draco and Ron spent their evenings playing chess, because, finally, Ron had a worthy opponent. The girls, especially Hermione and Pansy, became more and more friends every day. The others used to talk about Quidditch and, occasionally, football, too. 

One night, they all were in the common room, Draco and Harry sat together in a small sofa, when Blaise proposed "Guy, What if we spent Christmas together?" 

"Yeah, it's a good idea" agreed Seamus and Dean. 

"At your house? I want to see your mather's face when you'll tell her." Said Theodore laughing. 

"The problem is telling my mom" Admitted Ron. 

They all accepted, all except Draco, who was still reading his book. 

"Draco?" Called Harry. Because he didn't answered, he tore the book out of his hand. Malfoy, trying to get it back, jumped on him, knocking him off the couch, so they ended up on top of each other.

"What a grace" wishpered Draco, smiling. Harry had never noticed the beauty of that smile. It was bright, genuine. It highlighted Draco’s elegant eyes. Draco was... God, with this hair, sprained and more naturale he was... Perfect. They might had looked at each other for too long, because Neville need to call them "Guys, is everything ok?" 

They got up and blushed a little, then Draco asked "I have to, aren't I?" 

"Yes" responded Morag. 

"So, it means that I have to humiliate you at chess even at Christmas. Scared, Weasley?" Hw sighed. 

"You wish" Sneered Ron. Both Harry and Draco laughed, remembering their first duel. 

Harry and Draco spent the most of their free time together. It was good to talk with someone that could understand him, Harry thought, and they also had a lot of things in common. They sat in class, had lunch and studied in the library together, helping each other in Potions or DADA. The professors were very happy that they two were friends, because they both got better. Students watched them in the corridor suspiciously. One day, in the library a fourth year student asked them "So, now you're friends?" 

"No, I’m going to throw him a Stunning Spell just after lunch" Answered casually Draco.

Now they were laughing. It was an idiot sometimes, but Harry had to admit that he was really funny. Anyway, they started study and between them reigned the silence for a while. When Harry conclused his Potions' essay, he gave it to Draco, who, after a few minutes, looked at him and said "What can I say, Potter?" 

"It's so terrible?" He asked, confused. He thought he did a good job that time. 

"Well, I think you have finally understand the subtle science and exact art the dispersion making" He announced. 

"You’re gonna hold it against me forever, isn't- Wait what?" Harry didn't notice what he actually said to him "Really?" 

"Yes. It's excellent. I don’t know what else to call it." Answered Draco with a big, bright smile. They look at each other for a few moments, or an eternity for them. Their leg was touching... And Harry's hand reached Draco's. Their fingers intertwined, causing some kind of spark. 

" _Harry_ " 

" _Draco_ " 

Apparently they were silent, but it was a silence full of thoughts and words, that they couldn't say. They got closer... 

"The library is about to be closed" It was Madame Pince, that put an end to that moment. 

But those moments happened again. 

And again. 

And again. 

They never talked about them... And Harry was fine with it, until one night.

Draco opened the door "Potter!" He never called him "Harry" since the library "My test! My DADA's test!"

"What happened? It didn't-" Harry asked him.

"Shut up! It's Perfect! The professor said it's Perfect!" He was so happy that he wanted to yell at the whole school. but he told Harry. He was more important than the whole school.

"I knew it! I am so proud of you." He smiled, it made him happy to see Draco, only a part of him was enough.

"I owe it to you. Thank you so much"

"You owe me nothing. I just taught you how to do it, but you did the test not me, you." The sunshine brightened his face and his hair, of a black crow with gold streaks, seemed even more beautiful. His eyes, like two beautiful emeralds, was looking at Draco's, full of happiness. He pushed Harry on the wall and their lips touched. They shared a passionate, sweet, romantic kiss.They kissed again and again, for what seemed like hours, until they lost their breath. Draco let his hand slip in Harry's hair, and pulled one hand on his cheek, gently. He was going to-

"Ouch!" Ron crashed into the door "Mate, why is thi damn door closed?! Come on, we're going to be late for Quidditch. This is the last training before Christmas, I have to tell you a lot of things." 

Damn.

That was Harry's best Christmas, used to having no one but Ron and Hermione. Blaise's home was very beautiful: the entrance was spacious and bright and opened onto a large living room, with elegant colours, enhanced by Christmas decorations. On the right there was a black marble staircase leading to the rooms. Single or double, each one had a dominant color and all overlooked the magnificent garden, the fountain and the many colored flower beds. They spent the days that separated them from Christmas, staying at home, enjoying the beautiful house, or going out, to drink a Butterbeer or, for girls, go shopping. On Christmas Eve, they had lunch early and soon after the girls went to get ready, which caused the shock of the boys, that followed them only 3 hours later. 

That night Harry was wearing an elegant dark green velvet suit, that highlighted his eyes. When he was ready, he left the room, but instead of going downstairs, he knocked on Draco’s door, because, since that night at Hogwarts, he was avoiding him. That silence was killing him. Hermione gave them suspicious looks, like the rest of the girls, even Luna, the most discreet. He didn't understand why he was so attracted to him. Hermione had suggested that it was the proximity to Draco and that, however, he had to solve these thins alone, because there was no book that could help him. She kept telling him that they wouldn’t care, but Harry’s problem was figuring out what she was talking about (even Ron didn’t seem to understand it, judging by the fact that he looked at her like she was an alien). Was it possible that he liked Draco? 'It must have been the moment', he repeated himself... but there was something... 

He had to know if Draco felt the same, too. 

Knock Knock

"It's open" said Malfoy, from inside the room. Harry entered and saw him grappling with the cuff of his shirt, which didn't want to close. "Oh, it's you. It’s not exactly the right time." He told him. 

But Harry didn't hear nothing anymore. He was distracted by him. He had a dark blue dress, wonderful with his complexion. He felt himself blushing, so he immediately lowered his gaze and wishpered "Give me your wrist, I'll help you." 

Draco stretched out his arm to Harry and asked him "So, Why are you here?" 

"I want to talk to you" 

"Sorry, I'm late, I have to help Blaise with the dinner." He left the room abruptly, leaving Harry alone.

The evening passed quietly: they had fun, ate, drank (Pansy maybe a little too much). At midnight they made a toast and exchanged the gifts, which they would open the next morning. Completely unexpected, Draco handed his gift to Harry. It was a tiny box, covered in green paper, his favorite color. 

"Oh, I didn't bought you nothing." 

"It doesn't matter, really." He smiled at him and Harry seemed to have seen some... Pain? They tightened the box for a few moments, then Draco left it, said "Merry Christmas" and left, leaving once again a void in Harry's chest. 

When they dediced to go to sleep, Harry was determinated to talk to him.

"I'm tired" Snorted Draco. 

"You're avoiding me, why?" He was desperate, one day he kissed him and another day he pretended that he didn't exist.

"I'm doing this for you, I have to protect you from me" He murmured. 

"Did I ever ask you something like this?" 

"But I-" Draco couldn't finish the phrase, because Harry kissed him. Draco kissed him back. They were burning... they both needed it. They took off their jackets and then their shirts ...

Draco moved to his neck, hugging him (Harry was sure he would have bruises the next day). God, it felt so good... But, inside him, Harry knew that was a kind of 'goodbye', he simply didn't want to care about that. He was hard, as Draco was, so they went to the bed...

Harry woke up in Draco's arms, he was awake. 

"Hey, why didn't you wake me?" He asked, almost in a wishper. 

"That was..." 

"A mistake, I know" His heart was silently breaking. 

"Harry..." But he hadn't the time to finish the sentence, Harry was already out of his room. 

What had happened? Maybe he was right, since he kissed him, Harry had only felt pain. Why did he have to continue suffering for a person? It was worth it? 

The sun soon rose and his friends started to woke up. He left the room and joined them. He really didn't want to celebrate, but it was Christmas... They all opened their gift: Harry received a Quidditch book from Hermione, a new eagle feather from Ron and... A wonderful violet glass flower from Malfoy. There was a note attached to the package: "In the hope you understand. Sorry. Draco". He was so confused that he decided to not do anything, for now. He would have figured it out when he would be ready. They spent the holidays trying to avoid each other, until it was time to return to Hogwarts. He went back to school and the only thing he had of Draco was that flower, that seemed to have changed its color... It was a more intense purple... It had to be only his imagination.

On the train he explained everything to his friends. 

"With all the men in this world, the ferret?" Asked Ron, shocked. 

Hermione struck him with his eyes "Harry, I am so sorry. I noticed that there was something between the two of you. I deduced it from the way he looked at you." 

"Well it doesn't seem that he want to mess with me." 

"Maybe he's scared from what he feel." Proposed Ron, that spoke from experience. 

"You have to talk to him." Concluded Hermione. 

The rest of the journey they stayed with the others, laughing at the jokes of a drunk pansy at Christmas.

The same night, Harry had the chance to talk to Draco, but it was a short conversation. 

"What was that?" He needed to know. 

"Well, you said it. A mistake." Muttered Malfoy. 

"Asshole" He was so angry, he had a lot of things to say. 

"You know nothing. Nothing." 

He couldn't stand there anymore. 

Some weeks passed and Harry realized how much Draco counts for him. Everything he did, he wanted to do with him, everything that happened, he wanted to tell him... And it left a trail of pain. He felt like a ghost, like a shadow. He often wondered if Draco felt that, too. Hermione and Ron assured him that the idiot was Malfoy and not him... Even though Harry didn’t believe them. Maybe if he hadn't said that thing... Maybe... But he was so angry. He didn't think it... Now it was all gone and he didn't know how to fix it. Thay couldn't even stay in the same room. How that happened. Ron tried to reassure him but Harry felt like Hermione when he left them the year before. 

There was another problem. Their M.A.G.O. They had both gotten worse at school and McGonagall kept reminding them. 

Even if it hurt, Harry thought it was time to let him go. How? He didn't know.

A evening, Harry was playing with Draco's flower when (from where, he still doesn't know) Luna went out, looking at his gift "Oh, Harry, it's so sweet! Who are you gonna give it to?"

"It's a gift, why?" He asked, confused.

"Don't you know? This is an Aquileia, this flower represents a secret, deep love." 

"What?" He completely forgot about the note, with everything that had happened.

"He's at the sixth floor, go to him."

"Luna... How do you know?"

"It's pretty obvious, isn't it?" She said, with her dreamy voice.

"Of course... I-I have to go, sorry"

He started run. He couldn't believe how fool he was, how could he forget something SO important? He ran and ran... He lost his breath, but he had to resist, he had to see him (alive or dead wasn't important). Everything was clear now 'In the hope you understand'... Incredibly, Ron was right.

"Draco!" Finally, he saw him "I understood"

"Harry, I'm so sorry. Really. I was so scared by my own emotions. I never felt this for someone or for so long... And we used to hate each other, I didn't know it could work... I didn't want to hurt you. I mean, you're confident only with Ron and Hermione and it would bothering me... But if I would tell you this, I would hurt you. Do you understand?" Draco had spoken, all in one breath. 

"Okay. It's my turn now. You had been a jerk! How could I possibly find out about the flower?! Anyway, yes, I am diffident, but you know why? I grew up relying only on myself. My Muggle aunt and uncle made me sleep in a cupboard for eleven years. They called me 'wrong'. I used to eat my cousin’s leftovers and wear his trash clothes. When you told me you didn't need my pity... Maybe it was kindness, or maybe it was pity, but I’m like this, wanting to save others, because that’s what I’ve been doing all these years, with Voldemort. I’m also stubborn, pretty much. You know why? Because I’ve lost too many people in life. That night, in the forest, I'm really dyed. That night I Iost even a part of myself, the worst, yes, but I lost it. Listen, I'm not going to lose another person, the most important, actually." 

Draco was almost scared by all that things Harry said. If he only knew... But it wasn't too late. He could still do the right thing.

"You will no longer suffer because of me, I promise." He kissed him. It was a wet kiss from the tears of the two boys. Harry slipped his hands in his hair, twisting them. How much he missed all that... Draco's passionate kiss, the sound of his voice, his hand on his face and, well, just Draco. 

Between kisses, he called him "Harry... Harry, listen to me. I love you, in a extraordinary way. I love you because you're funny, you make me laugh like anyone else can. You're intelligent, actually the most intelligent person I know. You are beautiful, I love you hair, you emerald eyes, God... You're eyes drive me crazy."

Harry was, after a long time, happy again. 

"Anyway, there are things Hermione and Ron don't know, but you do."

"Like?"

"Like the fact that I love you."

They spent the rest of the night on the Astronomy Tower, looking at the sunset, finally together. When it started to get cold, they decided to return in the common room, holding hands.

"Are we doing this?" Harry asked, just to be sure. 

"They’ll find out sooner or later." Draco answered, smiling. 

"Well, Ron and Hermione already knew... I mean, not that," He said, looking at their hands "and Luna already figured it out"

"I told Pansy... So, basically, they already knew."

"I suppose"

They entered in the room, looking at them, waiting for a reaction.

"Finally! Theo, you owe me twelve galleons!" Pansy shot when she saw them.

"Guys, I think you have to give me my twenty galleons" Luna said to the Gryffondors.

"You bet on my love life?" Harry was incredulous.

"Well, mate, now you have one, we found ourselves very interested" Ron answered.

"What dear friends we have" Draco said to Harry.

They all burst out laughing.

The next morning Harry woke up at the sunrise, next to Draco. The sun lit up his face and Harry felt... lucky. He was there, with the person he loved, everything had passed. Now it was his time to be happy.

"Have you been awake long?" He asked him, sleepy.

"No"

"Liar" He said, kissing Harry. "Goodmorning"

Before they went to the common room, Draco looked at him and wishpererd "Do I have sex hair?" with a worried face. 

"If I did my job right" Harry said, opening the door. Everyone was there, standing in front of them. 

"Guys, we know that you are in love and blah blah blah. But please, cast a Muffliato the next time. We heard you." Pansy scolded them. Ron had the ears red, trying to hold back the laughter. 

It was a beautiful April morning and, disappointing Hermione who wanted to study, they went out for a walk.

"How did you figure out about the flower? It was Granger?"

"No, but I will say at Hermione that you find her smart" 

"Don't you dare!" He pointed his finger at him, frightened by Harry’s threat.

"You know what? I'm going right now"

"Come back here!" Harry was about to get up, when Draco grabbed his wrist, pulling him to himself in a romantic kiss.

"This is cheating" Harry protested, even though he liked it.

"Now, really, How did you find out?" 

"Luna. She even told me where to find you." 

"I always thought that, If you didn’t figure it out on your own, she or Granger would have told you" He admitted. 

"What a trusting boyfriend I have" They kissed again. 

They sat on the grass, looking at the lake. Harry was playing with his hair when Draco said "What do you want to do after the school?" 

"Well, I think I will be an aouror. During the war I saw many horrible things... I don’t want history to repeat itself. What about you?"

"You know what? I think so. I’ve been a coward for too long. I’ve made the wrong choices for too long. I want to offer freedom to people like me."

"You've never been a coward. What else could you have done?" 

"I don't know... Something. Anything."

"What are we gonna do? I mean, us?" Harry had to ask. 

"Maybe we can... Only if you want, we can do it together." He told hesitant "What do you think?" 

"I love it. I love you. But I have one condition" 

"Yes?" 

"Will you teach me the meaning of the flower?" 

~~

_Epilogue_

Ten years later, Christmas Eve. 

Since that year the company has not broken up. Someone married, someone had children, but their friendship was always the same. 

"Scorpius, please! You have to choose one shirt! Then you can see Hugo and Rose." Harry begged him "Draco, help your child choose the color of the shirt" 

"Scorpius, don't listen to your father, he's never understood the importance of the colors" Draco said, going upstairs "James, Albus! I already told you that your sister is not a toy. Harry, take Lily." 

"Come here, who is Daddy's love? No no, don't lick the photo" He whispered to a one-year-old Lily, who was licking the photo of Harry and Draco’s marriage. 

With a pop, someone entered in the living room. 

"Hi!" It was Hannah, followed by Neville "Oh, how sweet is this baby? Come to auntie Hannah" 

"How are you?" He asked her, looking at her belly. 

While they were talking Draco came downstairs "Hi, sorry, I have to go to Theo and Pansy's house, she need my help with the baby, she is so tired" 

Harry looked at him eloquently and commented "Really? Do I have to remember you that, when Albus arrived, you were so tired that you gave him your coffee instead of the milk?" 

"That happened one time! One!" 

They all laughed. 

After a while all the others arrived: Hermione and Ron (with Hugo and Rose), Morag and Blaise, Luna and her husband Rolf Scamander, Justin, Seamus and Dean and, quite late, Theodore, Pansy and Draco, with a new-born baby in his arms. 

"Sorry, we had some problem with Cassiopea" Pansy was clearly tired, but she was as beautiful as always. 

"Oh, my gorgeous god-daughter" Said Hermione, taking Cassiopea with a big smile. 

The dinner began, as usual they laughed, had fun.

Shortly before midnight, Harri stopped to watch the scene: she had a husband who loved him, a wonderful family, wonderful friends... he had everything.

"Merry Christmas, my love" It was Draco.

"Merry Christmas, Draco". Harry kissed him. 

_The end_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you! Every kudos, comment or suggestion is really appreciated.


End file.
